Sitting in a parking lot waiting for fireworks and realizing nature is doing a pretty good job of her own light show.
There is an invisible thread that binds
Two people whose souls are tied together
With no rhyme or reason
There is a thread that binds those souls
Sometimes it’s beautiful
Other times there is pain
The thread is cut
And with no rhyme or reason
That thread that once connected two souls two hearts together is gone
One walks the walk of justification peace or just denial
The other is left holding the other end of the thread
Wondering waiting hurting breaking
Anger sadness confusion relief welling up taking their turns sometimes clamoring all at once for attention
There is a thread that binds until it’s broken
And it’s a choice always to leave it unbound
Or to tie it up again
This invisible unsaid thing can cause so much pain or so much joy.
Courage or fear
Bound or free.
This was part of the card I designed for my volunteer service for the hospice. Funny how when there isn’t pressure to have to sell something, I can create more freely. I used one of my photographs and did this watercolor from it. It was actually what I love about art. Something coming from nothing based out of necessity, whatever that necessity is. There is a sense of release that comes from it and even if nobody else enjoys it, I do. I guess that is why art is so difficult to release to the “public” because although you felt that joy or whatever it is you felt that made it complete, there is that impending judgment. So whatever anyone else feels about this, I am happy that I created it. If only everything I created could come freely to me.
I taught photography at a co-op for a year. I’m not quite sure how I ended up doing it because I am not an amazing photographer nor do I particularly enjoy teaching classrooms of children. Well in all honestly it’s one my least favorite things to do. I admire those that have a passion for it because I in myself don’t understand the joy of it. I don’t mind one on one teaching but a whole classroom of children….
Anyway, I had a student tell me that taking photos of flowers was easy because they are already pretty. Of course that means you’ll have a pretty photo. As I tried to take photos of seemingly beautiful flowers only to be continuously disappointed by the outcome, his argument came into my mind. It should be easy to take a photo of something beautiful and therefore the photo itself should be beautiful. I think people really believe this to be true. Especially with digital cameras and how inexpensive and accessible they’ve become, everyone feels like they’re a photographer. While it’s true some people may have a talent or an eye for photos… it’s not true that just because they hold a camera in their hand they are master photographers. Any more than a paintbrush in someone’s hand makes them a master painter. I feel we all have potential to be whatever we set our mind to however there needs to be passion to learn and grow. To admit that we may need more knowledge in order to become better. Just as that student said so lightly anyone can take a pretty photo of a flower. Yes anyone can in theory. It doesn’t mean they do. Lol. I know I don’t. Oh if it were only that easy to take what is in our minds and what our eyes see and translate it into a visual representation that others could see. It takes talent, practice, skill, experience, blind luck… something beyond just simple point and shoot.
Meanwhile I’m off to peruse through Instagram 😉
I cannot believe I am doing another one. Hopefully this one doesn’t get rained out. I have been really looking forward to it. Fingers crossed. There are supposed to be thousands of people participating so it will be interesting to be a part of the masses of people. That would have freaked me out before but eh… who cares. 🙂 Life is for the living.
And on another note, procrastination 0… myself 1.. I have already fulfilled the obligation for the cards that I was supposed to make for the hospice organization. I did it in less that 3 days. This was from drawing, watercoloring, scanning, printing, and then making the actual cards. My normal self would have waited until the last possible moment. But now I feel what do I do with myself now? lol This weekend is completely booked with things. But I still want to look at more volunteering opportunities. On the one hand it will help me out with what I want to get my master’s for but on the other it is really my heart that loves doing it. I have always been that kind of person that feels that if I can do something good with my time, I need to do it. I realize this doesn’t help in the paycheck department, but I am hoping that once I get my degree it will open doors for me to find the right job. Much of my choices in life have prepared me for this direction and I am feeling at peace about it. So I’m just going to trust my gut and keep doing what I’m doing. Running 5k’s, eating amazing beautiful food from local places that make everything from scratch and do the whole farm to table thing, enjoy life in the way that it was meant to be lived, open every door possible for awesome experiences, and finally plan a trip somewhere. Actually, there is one already in the works. Not one to use my illustrious new passport but still excited for this nonetheless. HAWAII!!!!. And no not the whole tropical paradise, lounge in hammocks Hawaii but the explore it all, canyons, waterfalls, trekking.. and then ok yes the beach and hopefully hammocks. And possibly snorkeling, I mean it is Hawaii. I want to see it all as much as possible.
Also, talks of moving are also still in the works. It seems like when things happen, they happen like an avalanche. Both good and bad things. It’s about time for the good things, because over the past few years it has been a crapload of bad things. It does mean moving away from family, which hurts, but I realize too many times I live for other people and am afraid of letting them down. Whether or not they imply they are hurt, I still feel that intense pressure to “perform my duties” to them. It will take a lot of soul searching because of the volunteer opportunity opening up, which although no pay is in sight, there is a promise of experience I couldn’t hope to get just by going back to university. One foot in front of the other, continually moving on. (meanwhile seeing my tattoo reminds me, peace in all things. Oh yeah, I knew there was a reason why I got that 😉 )