I think most people when they hear this phrase would think, oh this is the perfect fit relationship. But when I thought of it, it was watching others and myself going through relationships that didn’t fit.
Most people in the story of Cinderella think of her and how the shoe fit perfectly. But what I think about is the ugly stepsisters. In the original telling of the story, the stepsisters did everything they could including cutting parts of their feet off in order to fit the shoe. I feel sometimes we do this in relationships in order to make them fit. We don’t care that the person may not be right for us or us for them. We will do everything we can in order to fit, including cutting off valuable parts of ourselves in order to make it work.
Shouldn’t our relationships help us to be the best versions of ourselves we can be? To help us to grow, to evolve, to be better than we were before? Shouldn’t we be allowing each other to be themselves entirely? Why do we shove ourselves into ill fitting relationships just in order to not be alone ?
You ever kiss someone and just take a deep breath and sigh? It’s as though all the weight of the world has been lifted through that kiss. The rest of the relationship is hard. Why can’t we focus on those deep breath kisses and truly enjoy them?
Why do we make our lives and relationships so difficult? Love should be our soft place to land, our respite from the every day hum drum life. But too often, we cause that place to be added stress. We over complicate it by making sure we protect ourselves rather than just giving it freely.
There’s a balance somewhere between being a doormat and being a closed door with love. We need to be the threshold that allows those we love to cross through easily. Not walked on but open.
I have yet to figure out this subtle balance. How to love, be in love and receive love. Is there a book with that title? If so, I need to read it.
One step at a time through heartbreak. Learning about myself as I go. Remembering that kiss that breathed new life into me.
I was scrolling through my feed and read this beautiful post what a relationship is after butterflies. Relationships are chemical reactions that go away in the first 3 years. People keep looking for fireworks and butterflies. But when you think about the people you truly love, family, friends, etc… You don’t expect those fireworks feelings. So why do we expect them out of a lifelong companion. Love is ever evolving. It grows up, like a child. And like a child you love … You may have loved them differently as a new born, but as they age, you grow to respect them, enjoy their company and friendship. The relationship evolves and changes. We grow (hopefully) and our capacity and ability should grow and change. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.